Accentuate the positive

In the words of Bing Crosby, we should ‘Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch onto the affirmative, don’t mess with Mr In-between’. 

Sounds simple enough, but as the snow melts to grey slush, the ice gives way to rain and the Christmas bills demand to be paid it can feel like an impossible task.

Happiness is ephemeral, subject to the vagaries of everything from the weather to our ability to buy that delicious pair of Louboutin boots. And whilst it would be unrealistic to suggest that we can glide through life in a permanent state of euphoria, it is certainly true that we are able to choose a happier path for the journey.

Most of us know a trick or two that will raise a smile or break the tension in a difficult moment for others but we tend to be very bad at using those same techniques to make ourselves feel happier.  Yet, a feeling of well-being is known to have a positive effect on everything from our performance at work to our success in relationships. 

Therefore it is definitely worth identifying what works for you and then practicing those techniques each day until it becomes habit.  What will be a conscious effort initially will soon become second nature, and when those dark clouds begin to gather over your day, you will be able to banish them and let the sunlight back in.

Ultimately it comes down to whatever works for you, but here are a few suggestions to try out.

1. Laugh out loud. Just anticipating a happy, funny event can raise levels of endorphins and other pleasure-inducing hormones and lower production of stress hormones. Researchers at the University of California, tested 16 men who all agreed they thought a certain videotape was funny. Half were told three days in advance they would watch it. They started experiencing biological changes right away. When they actually watched the video, their levels of stress hormones dropped significantly, while their endorphin levels rose 27 per cent and their growth hormone levels (indicating benefit to the immune system) rose 87 per cent, so even if you don’t have time today to sit down and watch something that will make you laugh, the thought of doing it will still have benefits.

2. Count your blessings. It is all too easy to go through the days focusing on what we have not achieved or what we don’t have which can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and frustration. Research shows that people who pause, even just for a few minutes each day, to reflect on some positive aspect of their lives such as good health, a loving partner, happy children or loyal friends experience a heightened sense of well-being.  So next time you are wondering why your husband can’t put his socks in the laundry bin, remember that he is the same person who always makes you a cup of coffee in the morning.

3. Enjoy the present. Be comfortable in the moment. Instead of worrying about tomorrow’s packed work schedule while you have dinner with your family, focus on the present — the food, the company, the conversation.

4. Just say no. We are getting busier, with more and more of us needing to continue to work after having children life can feel like a 24 hour a day whirlwind of tasks that never get completed.  In addition, many of us find ourselves agreeing to take on additional tasks for friends or family thereby increasing the stress. Eliminate activities that aren’t necessary or that you really don’t enjoy.  By focusing on necessary or pleasant tasks you will make the best use of the time that you do have.

5. Go to sleep. We have become a sleep-deprived nation with many of us existing on an average of less than 5 hours sleep a night, yet the average adult watches more than 20 hours of television a week.  Taking the opportunity occasionally to exchange television for getting into bed at 8 pm with a good book and turning the light out an hour later to sleep can do more for your mood and outlook on life than any number of bubble baths or massages.

6. Make a list. There’s nothing like writing down your tasks or problems to help you organise your thoughts and calm your anxiety.  Even just writing the list down will create a sense of achievement and as you cross each item off the sense of fulfillment will increase.

7. Find your own oasis. Libraries, museums, gardens, and places of worship provide islands of peace and calm in today’s frantic world. Find a quiet place near your house or office and make it your secret getaway.

8. Be nice. Helping others enables you to put your own problems into perspective and also provides social interaction. While happy people are more likely to help others, helping others actually increases your happiness. One study found that volunteer work enhanced all six aspects of well-being: happiness, life satisfaction, self-esteem, sense of control over life, physical health, and depression.  Even simply wishing someone a nice afternoon will brighten their day and in turn make you feel good about yourself.

9. Smell yourself happy. The benefits of aromatherapy in relieving stress are real. Results show that the aroma of rosemary can lower anxiety levels and increase alertness and lavender can increase the feeling of relaxation.  With the variety of room-scenting methods available, from plug-in air fresheners to essential oil diffusers, it is very simple to fill your home with positive aromas.

10. Sing along. Music has a huge influence on our mood and playing music that makes you feel good as you get ready in the morning or on your journey to work can put you in the most positive place to start your day.  Studies show that music activates parts of the brain that produce happiness – the same parts activated by food or sex, and it’s also relaxing.   Try putting a play list together of music that you associate positively with, be that memories of a romantic moment or a fun filled night with your friends, those same feelings will be stimulated by the associated memories when you hear it and whether you sing along out loud in the shower or in your head on the tube you will find a smile coming to your lips.

Executive and Life Coach, Rachael Wood, www.ogilviedavies.com can be contacted at Rachael@ogilviedavies.com

Tags: confidence, depression, Depression Advice, Happiness, New Year's Advice, New Year's Resolutions, Rachael Wood

Posted by Rachael Wood on Sunday, January 17th, 2010 at 9:00 am.

Filed under Rachael Wood, Uncategorized, Tagged as: , confidence, depression, Depression Advice, Happiness, New Year's Advice, New Year's Resolutions, Rachael Wood.