Think he knows you? Think again! How millions of men don’t know their partner’s dress size, date of birth, or even eye colour

Posted by Kate Loveys on Monday, February 8th, 2010 at 11:38 pm.

Researchers revealed a healthy six out of ten males believed they knew their partner inside out.

‘Does my bum look big in this?’ is the question most men dread from their partners.

But they could land themselves in hot water for failing to know the answer to far less subjective questions.

For despite their claims to the contrary, millions of British men are completely clueless about their partner’s clothes size, her natural hair colour and even the colour of her eyes.

The failure to pay attention can, at best, lead to awkward conversations.

And for some hapless men, not knowing these everyday details can cause major problems with almost one in 10 women ending their relationship or getting perilously close to ending it and a further eight per cent having serious rows.

The full extent of men’s failure to pay attention emerged from a survey of 2,000 men conducted for The Perfume Shop.

Researchers revealed a healthy six out of ten males believed they knew their partner inside out.

However when questioned 12 per cent did not know their partner’s eye colour, 10 per cent did not know their partner’s date of birth and a further eight per cent did not know their natural hair colour.

One in three had no idea what her favourite perfume is. A further 30 per cent was oblivious to their partner’s bra size, 11 per cent did not know their job title and 12 per cent did not know the name of their wife or girlfriend’s best friend.

This lack of basic knowledge can turn shopping for gifts into a minefield.

Researchers found 27 per cent have bought their partners clothes or underwear in the wrong size and in more than a third of cases the oversight lead to arguments.

And whilst many men fail to pay attention, when questioned they admitted that if the tables were turned women would know everything about them from their eye colour to the aftershave they wear.

Relationship expert Francine Kaye said the crux of the problem was that whereas knowledge of small details is important to woman, it is unimportant to men.

‘These things are vitally important to women. But men are wired differently. We’re not talking about one in a hundred men who fail to notice basic details. We’re talking about the majority.

‘However, you can’t expect men to change without prompting and reminding. You need to be a pragmatist.

‘Women remember friends’ birthdays and tell friends they look good. But there is not point in trying to make men like us.

‘You can’t expect men to get it right without prompting and reminders. If you want them to remember certain details, you have to tell them.’

Mrs Kaye offered a practical tip for women hoping to be treated by their partner on Valentine’s Day.

‘You have to prompt him. Don’t be too subtle. Say something like: ‘It’s coming up to Valentine’s Day, I hope you’re treating me to something nice’.

Christine Northam, a relationship counsellor for Relate said men’s failure to remember important details is often the result of their upbringing.

She said: ‘It’s all because of the way that men have been lead to believe and behave by their parents, their family origin.

‘If they grew up in the sort of environment where their dad didn’t place any obvious importance on mum’s birthdays, or in any present-giving situation, the issue would have been brushed aside and they would not try and remember these things.

‘But it’s about being sensitive and aware of how other people feel, it’s not being soft, it’s just about having empathy and realising what matters to others.

‘Empathy is a great building block for a successful relationship.’

Michelle D’vaz, spokeswoman for The Perfume Shop, agreed men would benefit from learning basic details about their partners.

‘The results of the survey are actually quite shocking,’ she said.

‘The basic details like date of birth and hair colour are what you expect your partner to know about you, but it seems many men don’t. This is especially the case with everyday things like eye colour, or the perfume they spray on each morning.

‘Noticing these little details can win men some major brownie points with their other half as it shows they pay attention, so it’s worth putting in the extra effort to make sure you know everything.’

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