Saira’s Diary: Women can work AND be great mums

Last week I saw my little boy Zac for three days. I had had one of those busy weeks.

My mum came down from Nottingham to help look after him. He loves his Nanny and I love seeing them together. During the week Zac is with Nuha, my amazing childminder, so I never really worry about him.

But, like any mother, there are times when I wish I could spend more time with him and I start to feel a little guilty.

I get asked by lots of women whether I feel bad about working and leaving Zac with a childminder, and my immediate and honest answer is NO.

I work for the following reasons:

• It gives me self respect and worth
• It allows me to be financially independent
• It allows me to meet new people and develop my network
• It helps me to think creatively and add value to society
• It demonstrates to my son that women are more than just dinner ladies and cleaners at home
• It gives me the chance to better myself and live the life I want

I worked so hard to get my education and overcome so many obstacles to get the career and life I want that it would be unthinkable to throw all that hard work away because I have had a baby. I do believe that women can work, be great mums, look fab and be financially independent. It may not be for all women, and believe me there are times when I wish I could just stay at home and catch up with my ironing and bake some cakes instead of going to yet another networking meeting or spending another six solid hours infront of the PC trying to get people to buy my products. But I have a dream and I am not going to rest until it has been realised. I want my little boy to grow up and be proud that his mum ran her own business but also had time to cook him fresh meals everyday, iron all his clothes and had time to play with him and read him a bedtime story. He may not always say she looked glamorous, but hey we all have to have some weaknesses!

People often ask me what makes a successful business person, it’s so easy to come out with all the clichés, but for me its about the person that you are more than your product or your service. During my years as a corporate sales manager, there was one consistent message in my training, ‘people buy people’, and I believe in that wholeheartedly. All my sales training revolved around ‘personal development’ rather than ‘selling the product’. I was taught about self awareness, how to listen, speak, engage, empathise with others, how to recognise a buying signal, skills in learning how to visualise, prioritise, how to give and take feedback and the list goes on and on. It takes a lot skill to be a successful person and it takes a lot more skill to be a person that others like and want to do business with.

You may be thinking that this all sounds like you’ve got to pretend to be someone else and every time you want to impress you have to turn on the skills – actually that’s not the case, a lot of personal development is about being aware of your own behaviours and of others, but also recognising that the things you are naturally good at you keep doing, and the things you are not so great at you learn to change, and keep practising until you feel that it becomes second nature. Personal development is more about the impact you have on others and recognising the need to change the negative traits in order to become more effective and successful in reaching your goals.

I am surprised at how little ‘personal growth and development’ is high on people’s agenda – they don’t actually realise that in many cases, the more dynamic, respected and well rounded you are the more likely you are to achieve your goals and objectives and the more likely you are for others to buy into you, champion you or to put you front of mind. I guess wanting to be a better person, or do things better, takes more energy and some just can’t be bothered and take the attitude ‘like it or lump it’.

I’ve always been fascinated with people and how they behave and have been interested in knowing/finding out what people think about me – there are times when I have said, ‘I don’t care what others think’, but really I do care and I use that phrase as a front to protect myself from harsh comments and opinions. My personal development journey is still ongoing. Whilst I display some great traits, I also possess some that others don’t find attractive, like being outspoken, driven and competitive, loud and excitable and confident. Coming from an Asian community, all the negative traits I describe are actually seen as signs of success, but I am learning to be flexible and adaptable so that I can do business successfully no matter who my customer is or in which community I am doing business in. In today’s global economy, it pays to be insightful of others and yourself.

Some of you may be thinking, what has all this got to do with business and her journey as a start-up. Well the answer is that it is all inextricably linked. I am my business, and my success will depend on how I talk to people, how I influence and motivate them, how I sell myself to them, how proactive I am, how high my standards are and how I get people to believe in my vision and help me to achieve it. I cannot make my dreams come true alone, I need others to help me and therefore I need to make sure that with every person that I meet I give them the best of me. Not everyone is going to like the best of me, so I grow a thick skin and carry on and I try and learn from the knockbacks. Over the years I have grown a thick skin. The knock backs I have had have at times been hard to take, but I can honestly say that in most cases they have fired me up to do better and prove others wrong. The best thing ever to happen to me was to come runner up on The Apprentice.

Last week I had a meeting with a French Distributor and the deal was all based on whether I was someone that they could do business with. We didn’t discuss margins, figures, products, quantities or anything else commercial. It was purely a meeting based on the person behind the business. I am happy to say that it was a great meeting and despite the fact I could not speak French I managed to communicate effectively enough for them to say that they will work with me. I will tell you more about this business deal in my forthcoming columns, but suffice to say, 2009 has been a great year for miamoo.

Finally, before I go, in my earlier columns I mentioned that I had taken my warehouse to task at the amount of money I was being charged for storage – well it does pay to be assertive and challenge things that you believe are wrong – my warehousing bill every month is £60 rather than £296. Now that’s what I call a saving! Merry Christmas and a very happy and prosperous New Year to you all.

Saira’s website: click here

Miamoo: click here

Here are some self help / business books I highly recommend -

• Steven Covey: The 10 habits of highly effective people
• Robert T. Kiyosaki: Rich Dad, Poor Dad
• Deirdre Bounds: Fulfilled
• Emma Wimhurst: Boom
• Dee Blick: Marketing on a Shoestring

Tags: Saira Khan, The Apprentice, work-life balance, working mums

Posted by Saira Khan on Sunday, December 20th, 2009 at 6:00 am.

Filed under Careers, Parenting, SMEs, Tagged as: , Saira Khan, The Apprentice, work-life balance, working mums.