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National domestic violence charity, Refuge, is launching a new campaign to educate women about some of the signs of abuse.
Research shows that many women aren’t aware of the ways in which abusive men control their partners. Yet understanding the signs earlier could help save them from a lifetime of abuse, or even death. It is a shocking fact that 12 women a week in this country die as a result of domestic violence.
The campaign, which launches today in time for Valentine’s Day, will ask women to think about whether their partner’s behaviour is caring or controlling.
The ‘Care or Control?’ campaign features four different adverts which use teddy bears to depict domestic violence. This approach takes a radical departure from the frequently used images of battered women and has been done in the hope that women specifically, and society generally, will be less likely to dismiss the adverts as not being relevant to them personally.
A domineering bear holds a love heart with a message written on it. At first glance the bears and hearts mimic the stereotypical bears often given at Valentine’s Day as tokens of love. But when read more closely, and in full, the messages are in fact sinister and menacing: ‘You FALL FOR ME every time’, ‘You will BE MINE forever’, ‘ONLY YOU make me do this’ and ‘I WANT YOU all to myself’.
Each of the four adverts explores a different form of controlling behaviour – jealousy, isolation, blame and charm, and all raise the question ‘Is the bear in the advert caring or controlling?’.
Acclaimed actress and long term supporter of Refuge’s work, Helena Bonham Carter, said: ‘The stereotypical view of domestic violence is a woman with bruising, black eyes and broken bones. But sadly through my work with Refuge I’ve learnt that violence is just one aspect of abuse. Thanks to the support Refuge provides I’ve met many women who have been controlled in more subtle ways, but who have still lived in fear, walking on eggshells.’
Karen Smith, 41, said: ‘When I first met my ex he was very charming, but the good times started to become interspersed with bad times. He would become very jealous about any time I spent with male friends. He would make me feel bad if I complained about it, so I didn’t challenge him. So after a while I felt I couldn’t spend time with them at all. At the time I didn’t realise he was doing this to control me. I consider myself lucky that I got away from my ex the first time he hit me and I got help from Refuge.’
Sandra Horley OBE, chief executive at Refuge, said: ‘Domestic violence is all about power and control. It is unacceptable for a man to control and bully his partner. If a woman is forced to alter her behaviour because she is frightened of her partner’s reaction then she is being abused. Jealousy, isolation, blame and charm are techniques of control which are frequently used by men who perpetrate domestic violence. Domestic violence takes lives and ruins lives. We hope that Refuge’s new ‘Care or Control?’ campaign will drive awareness and understanding of an issue which affects one in four women in this country.’
Two women a week are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales and ten women commit suicide every week in this country to escape domestic violence.
Helena Bonham Carter added: ‘I believe this campaign has the ability to reach out to thousands upon thousands of women so they can escape years of abuse and a lifetime of misery.’
For more information go to www.refuge.org.uk.
View the campaign posters -
Tags: abusive partner, campaign, domestic violence, education, fresh start, Helena Bonham Carter, Refuge, Valentine's Day, Vicki Owen, violence against women
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February 10th, 2010 at 4:41 pmAnnie Kaszina says:
What a fantastic idea to launch this campaign in time for Valentine’s day, which can be an acutely painful time for women who have an abusive partner. As Helena Bonham Carter rightly observes physical violence is only one manifestation of domestic violence. The mental and emotional abuse can be just as damaging. There is woefully little public awareness of the true nature of abuse and a desperate need for education for women of all ages. What happens, in practice, is that women stay in destructive relationships for way too long because they blame themselves for the failure of the relationship. An abusive man uses his partner’s hunger for love to control, humiliate and exploit, while an abused woman lacks the information to know that if it feels like her partner hates her,that is probably the bottom line. An abused man may talk about love, albeit in a slightly creepy way, but his behaviour is never that of a loving, supportive partner over any significant length of time.