Dee Blick is an award winning Chartered Marketer and author of Powerful Marketing on a Shoestring Budget for Small Businesses.
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When I made the decision to start my own business many years ago after spending several years bringing up my two boys, it wasn’t my lack of ability that was the problem, it was my lack of confidence.
In those days I didn’t have access to the online support that is now available for mums going back into the workplace. I was fortunate enough, however, to be signposted to a brilliant book by Susan Jeffers, aptly named Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
In it, Susan talks about our ‘negative chatterbox’ – the voice that tells you not to do something because you may not succeed at it. She also shares many tips on how to overcome fear. I bought into her advice lock stock and barrel and despite a few early blips, I’ve never looked back. It’s a book that I highly recommend when I’m talking to Mums or indeed anyone feeling apprehensive about returning to work.
Nicky Kriel is an experienced coach who works with mums returning to work. She says “Something strange happens when women become mothers. Many of us lose confidence in ourselves when, in fact, we have gained new skills by becoming a mother.
“If you are to re-enter the workplace with confidence, you need to surround yourself with supportive people, and do something different, something new. You don’t have to jump out of a plane but if you can push out of your comfort zone, stretch yourself a little, you start growing again.”
Heather Bestel, another experienced coach, works with mums that are in need of a confidence boost before starting their own business.
She says: “I had a few lack-of-confidence issues when I returned to work after having my daughter. I was still very hormonal and emotional. Undeterred, I started coaching again and took on a part-time lecturing job at my local college.”
“The first time someone asked me about the baby, I became very emotional. I also experienced a couple of issues connected with memory loss. One time it happened in the middle of a stress workshop with some executives. I had to ask the delegates to refresh me on what I had been talking about. ”
“Thankfully, they thought that I was checking on their listening skills! These experiences have helped me to appreciate what my clients may be going through. They are also useful to share with mums to help them understand that what they are experiencing doesn’t last forever. I remember repeatedly telling myself ‘I am an intelligent woman’. It may sound funny now but at the time I just had to trust that my brain wouldn’t be jelly for the rest of my life!”
So, what can we learn from this?
Well most, if not all of us, will experience a lack of confidence in varying degrees when we make the decision to start our own business after a period of bringing up the children. It’s natural. Once we have accepted this it’s time to set goals that may stretch us, but that are within our capabilities. For example:
- Research your product or service so that you know there is a real need for what you’re planning to offer.
- Re-acquaint yourself with your local library. Pull out a couple of books – one to help you with your marketing, the other to boost your confidence.
- Visit some of the fantastic websites that have been set up to help mums returning to work. I have listed some of these below under useful resources.
- Set yourself a business challenge every day. It could be something as simple as finding a designer to help establish your professional look or visiting a local networking group to build those all important contacts and advocates. Action is invaluable. It helps to eliminate irrational fear and it breeds self-confidence.
What are your personal tips for overcoming a lack of confidence?
Next week: The rise of the Mumpreneur.
Useful Websites:
www.mumsclub.co.uk
http://www.familyfriendlyworking.co.uk/
http://www.lawyers4mumpreneurs.co.uk/
http://www.shesingenious.org/
http://www.return2workmums.co.uk/
http://www.nickykriel.com/blog/
http://www.heatherbestel.com/
Tags: back to work, confidence, Mumpreneurs, workimng mums
This post has been commented 2 times
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July 9th, 2010 at 6:03 amcarol adams-kirkham says:
I completely concur here. Going back to work or setting up on your own after maternity leave or as a relatively new Mum can be a very daunting experience. I know I had many sleepless nights and emotional days after having my daughter, as my confidence took a real knock and I began to question my abilities. In my experience, it doesn’t seem to take that long to get back into the business world once you get over the first few hurdles and talking to others definately helps. There are lots of networking groups suitable for Mums thinking of setting up on their own and lots of internet advice to tap into.
I think it is just like going back to riding a bike – the thought is often worse than the experience – its all about the confidence!
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July 13th, 2010 at 4:35 pmMajella Wilkins says:
Thanks Dee for sharing so honestly your experience of returning to work. It is very typical of what I encounter all the time working with professional women returners. That internal “negative chatterbox” sadly is alive and kicking in most of us at some time or another. One of the tips I use for women returners to help quieten the energy sapping negative chatter is to connect with at least 2 other positive people for regular encouragement and support. These may be friends albeit friends sometimes say what they think you want to hear in order to cheer you up. They may not always provide the persuasive and firm nudge you need to keep you focused on your professional aspiration whether that be a return to work or starting your own business. There will be setbacks along the way but connecting with some positive, informed people will help you overcome these and open your eyes to new solutions and opportunities.