We are all now just over a week into the annual ritual of New Year’s Resolutions. We have been vocal and determined in our commitments to quit smoking, get fit, drink less alcohol, drink more water, change jobs, and even change the direction of our lives.
This month traditionally sees memberships at health clubs and diet programs soar (the GMTV diet program alone has seen 60,000 people sign up to date this year), sales of alcohol and chocolate fall and enquiries for my services as a Life Coach increase 5 fold, yet by Valentine’s Day three quarters of us will have failed.
How can such apparently strong determination fizzle out so quickly? What can we do to increase the likelihood that our desire for improvement will translate into permanent positive change?
Let’s first examine the psychology of the New Year’s Resolution. During the month of December people tend to overindulge in eating, drinking, spending money and neglecting exercise. Rather than moderate these behaviors, we promise ourselves that once January is upon us, we will definitely take control. In the meantime, we give ourselves permission to overindulge without guilt.
Our resolve is at its peak when we feel full, drunk, or broke. It’s easy to think about going on a diet as we finish the giant tin of Quality Street and it’s no problem to plan to quit smoking when we’ve just had a cigarette and replenished our nicotine level. At this point we feel confident about our New Year’s resolutions because we have not yet confronted any prolonged physical deprivation or discomfort.
In early January, we are often so sick of rich food and drinks, and feeling so sluggish from lack of vigorous physical activity that it’s not difficult to abstain from overindulgence. In fact, in the very short term, many people will feel a natural high thinking about the achievements that they have not yet made but can fantasise about.
However, a few weeks into the new discipline, we start to feel deprived, we crave a cigarette or a glass of wine and we still can’t fit into those size 10 jeans. It is at this point that we are most at risk for reverting back to old behaviors.
With barrister like confidence we argue with ourselves that actually January is not a good time of year, what with the extreme cold weather and our numerous obligations. When spring comes, it will be much easier to get into shape when we can go on lots of long evening runs and the snow isn’t making it so difficult to get to the gym.
Before we know it, we have exchanged one promise for another, and, now free of guilt, we can put off habit change for another few months. Almost certainly when spring arrives, we will have another temporary surge of motivation, only to abandon it within a few weeks and reset our start date for change to the summer.
Why do we abandon their resolutions? One reason is that we become discouraged when results don’t come quickly enough, particularly when the media surrounds us with celebrities who seem to experience total body transformations in just a few weeks.
We forget that in many cases, the people glowing and toned in the magazines are not also trying to fit in full time work, looking after children and getting to the supermarket. The reality is that behaviour change will take time and requires sustained effort and commitment.
A second reason is that often, the changes that we desire are also accompanied by a degree of physical discomfort. For example, reducing food, alcohol or nicotine intake from a level to which you have become accustomed, results in cravings. Forcing yourself to get off the sofa to exercise is often difficult when you’re tired or cold and keen to catch up on what is happening in Coronation Street. And of course, it’s all too easy to procrastinate until tomorrow.
Therefore, if you are going to make New Year’s resolutions this year, be sure you are ready for the challenge. Here are some tips to maximize your success:
1. Examine your motivation for change. Are you just feeling full and bloated at this moment? Do you have a hangover from last night? Did your last cigarette give you have a hacking cough? Or is there a more enduring reason for your desire to change? If you can’t think of a better reason than the fact that you’re uncomfortable at this moment, then you’re better off not making promises to yourself that you probably won’t keep. However, if you are realistic and accept the responsibility of discipline required for change, your motivation will be sustained long after the discomfort from over-indulgence has passed.
2. Set realistic goals. Habits and behaviors that are changed gradually have a greater chance of success.Visualise and write down where you want to be at the end of 2010 and then set yourself targets to reach throughout the year. By having deadlines set for each month you are more likely to achieve each goal and motivation will stay high as you see yourself taking steps toward your ultimate target.
3. Focus on the behavioral change more than on the goal. For example, if you decide to control your eating, your goal for the day is not to lose a specific number of pounds, but to stick to your program. Such focus on your behavior will help you feel in control of your life. You will gain satisfaction from making sensible choices several times throughout the day.
4. Learn to redefine physical sensations of discomfort. Whenever we restrict ourselves, we have both physical and mental reactions. A smoker will feel bodily sensations when the nicotine level drops in their body but there is a choice as to how these symptoms are interpreted. We can choose to view them as extremely unpleasant and to be avoided or we can interpret them as evidence that we are on our way to achieving our goal as the nicotine leaves our body. Likewise, those of us restricting food intake will also feel physical discomfort, the secret of the successful dieter is that they tell themselves that the hunger pangs are evidence that their behaviours are changing.
5. Make tasks non-negotiable. People who are most successful at implementing such changes are those who make their tasks non-negotiable. If you debate with yourself at 5:30 a.m. whether you feel like getting up to exercise, you will probably opt for staying in bed for another half hour but if getting up for exercise is no more negotiable than getting up for work, then you’ll do it regardless of how you feel about it. The same goes for organizing your closet or taking charge of your finances. We can almost always find an excuse not to do these things however, if you make a non-negotiable decision that’s based on a sound logical reason rather than on how you feel at the moment, you will be successful. One trick if you feel your resolve waning is to ask yourself if you would complete the task if there was a million pounds riding on it. If the answer is yes, then do it!
6. Allow for imperfection.No one is exactly on target all the time and it is important to expect to falter occasionally. If we do give in to temptation, the key is not to use this as an excuse to abandon the whole program. Accept and learn from your mistake and move on.
7. Do it now. If you’re waiting for a more convenient time to begin behavioral change, it won’t happen. It’s almost never convenient to change ingrained habits. Now is absolutely the best time for change because if we never start the process we can never finish and achieve our goals.
Finally, look at change positively, as a gift to yourself. Keep in mind an image of yourself once you have met your target and best of all remember that if you do keep your resolutions and make your changes this year, you won’t have to start the process again next January!
No Comments on this post